You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I enjoy the company of your penis
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
