Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
