is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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