wrigley field is MILF paradise
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize