You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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