Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
