end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
