we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
