You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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