You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
