i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
