if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
40s are totally the cure
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
