I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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