In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Too much gin, very little bucket
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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