I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize