I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
