Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The power of my boobs compel you
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
