If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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