But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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