Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
