dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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