i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
