Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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