so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
