I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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