I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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