I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
