I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
