For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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