Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
