Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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