you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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