I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There r osticjed everywhere
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
