You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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