he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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