He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
