Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
