Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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