This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
