I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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