I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
