I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
