My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
