mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize