She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
