I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
