Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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