OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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