i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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