normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
