do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
