dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
