i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
