I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
being pregnant is like rehab
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
