And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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