Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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