plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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