Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
