he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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