I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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