He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
