Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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